The Bottom Line (Aired 04-21-2025) Mindset and Emotional Wealth: Why Smart People Still Struggle

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Success isn't given, it's earned. And earning it means becoming the person who deserves it. The bottom line is where we cut through the chaos to simplify success, uncovering the strategies, mindset, and resilience it takes to win. Real stories, expert insights, and practical tools. Because the only way to the top is by putting in the work. This is the bottom line. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Welcome to the Bottom Line. I'm your host, Ryan Herpin. And today we're diving into a topic, a rather hot topic that affects everybody. Money. Not just making it, but managing it, understanding it, and more importantly, changing the way we feel about it. It doesn't matter how successful you are. Money stress doesn't just disappear when you earn more. Have you ever felt like no matter how much you bring in, you're still struggling? Have you ever wondered why so many intelligent, accomplished people still feel lost when it comes to their finances? You're not alone. Today we'll be breaking down the myths about money, why smart people still struggle with it, and the hard truth about financial freedom. And to help us with that, I have a very special guest, Simi, a financial therapist and the founder and CEO of Prosper Financial Wellness. Welcome to the show. It is such a pleasure to have you with us today. [00:01:24] Speaker C: Thank you. I am so excited to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart, Money. [00:01:31] Speaker B: And my goal today is to have an honest conversation about why money creates so much stress and anxiety, even for high achievers, and what we can do about it. So I want to dive right in and get right to the bottom line. Why do you think financial stress affects people at all income levels? [00:01:49] Speaker C: People think money is about numbers. It's 1 plus 1 equals 2. When money is 90% emotional and only 10% logical. So the way we spend, earn, think about money, save it has all to do with our experiences, our culture, our thinking process, as opposed to, like the numbers on a sheet. Highly intellectual people. Those are great. They can be great analytical people. But money is not really bad. Analytics. [00:02:22] Speaker B: I think that's. You brought up some, like, a really good point right off the hop, that that was real wisdom. I wish I would have had a pen and pad for that. It is very emotional. And a lot of what caused that emotion is our background, the experiences we've had with money, our upbringing, culture. You really highlighted a few things there that make a big impact. And I can see that even in my own life. So what role does mindset play in financial success? [00:02:47] Speaker C: Well, first of all, very often we're not even aware that we have this What I call subconscious money script going on in our background. And we look at the world and we are like, yeah, this is how money works. Like money is supposed to be saved, or money is supposed to be enjoyed, or use this understanding about money that you have that you believe is a truth. So we're not even aware of this subconscious thing playing in our background called our money script, our money mindset. So first getting to realize, and usually it's like the first time you realize that is maybe you're in a new relationship and you don't maybe see eye to eye in the same way of spending money or working together. And you're like, hold on, they've got this all wrong. Like, let me show them how this is done. And then if you're able to be curious and listen, you're like, wow, that's interesting. Cool. So now we want to know, what do we do with it? What do we do with these money mindsets? How do we work with ourselves? [00:03:44] Speaker B: I love that. That's, that's. You're asking such a good question there because. And I can relate to this. When my first, when my wife and I, we first met and we first became serious, started dating, you know, I was very focused on, you know, chivalry. I like to pay for everything, do everything. And, you know, and as we grew in our relationship, it stopped being, what's mine is mine, what's hers is hers. It began to. We get married, we become one. How do we manage this together? How do we feel about managing budgeting and controlling our finances in a way that honors each other? Our life builds that future. And how do we keep the stress out of our financial management? So what's one small but powerful shift someone can make today to improve their financial confidence? [00:04:28] Speaker C: A really good shift I like. And what I really appreciate about what you said before is coming together, collaborating. Not, not necessarily. Are we talking about having to work on conflict resolution? We're talking about collaborating together to figure out a better future together. How do we do that without the practical applications and stresses of money? The first really good thing I love to say is your eye only goes to where it's focused on. If I'm focused on today, then the stresses of today get to me. What I love for people to do is create a long term financial vision for yourself, almost like a vision board. Imagine I had the money that I could afford, what would I do with it? Like, this is a really good experiment. And start drawing it. Get colorful, get creative. And maybe if you were in a relationship, do this with your partner and then come back and like start being, wow, I never even knew you have a vegetable garden in there. What is that? Oh, I didn't even know you like to plant. What's that in the back? You have a studio. Why is it in our picture? Oh, you want to. You like giving classes. We're so involved in our day to day, we don't allow ourselves to dream. And so now when my focus is on that future studies show that they feel better. And you said it before, it's how I feel about my money that's important, not how much I have how I feel about it that has the biggest impact in my life. Studies show you do that vision board, you're going to start feeling better and you know what happens? You make these tiny goals and you start creating the reality to we are. Because now you know what you want. [00:06:06] Speaker B: Yeah. That was pure gold. That was pure gold. And you highlighted some of the things that I take as core values and the ways that I work with my clients even. And it's just like planning for the goals and success of your business. You can correlate that right to your relationships. It's just like a great analogy I like to use. Setting a goal, whether it be financial or business, whatever it may be, is just like planning a vacation. You plan the destination, where you're going to go, you plan what you're going to do while you're there. And you don't just hop in the car and drive any direction. No, you map out how to get there. It's the same thing with a financial plan. And I love the way that you put that. When you take the time to do that with your partner, your significant other, you can start learning more about them, their dreams, their aspirations. That might not just come up in everyday topics, but it's something that can build a relationship and take that stress out of it. Because you see that common goal, the common denominator and the reason for striving for better finances. I love the way you put that. So in this methodology, right. Of let's say when you're planning this out with your spouse, your significant other, how can that prevent emotional conflicts? [00:07:17] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, first I want to go back. I love how you mentioned about that vacation, like it's planning a vacation. And that even in the vacation component, sometimes it's so much more exciting to put on the refrigerator. Vacation, maybe destination. And then each time I want to save money or spend money, I say, hey, maybe I want to allocate that. Right now I only know where I'm going. But if I want to go boating, that's about 100 bucks. Okay, I won't do this today. And I'm going to allocate that for my vacation. And you start creating a picture of the things you're going to do, not only to the destination you're going to go, the things you want to do and excitement, and it all comes together in the same visual board towards that vacation. So I really appreciate the way you mentioned planning a vacation and I took it a little step further, like really getting excited about it, putting little components and goals. Your question before was, how do we make this more. [00:08:17] Speaker B: What was it so it's more about? So when you do have that plan and you're working with your spouse to discover that long term vision that goes along the way, how can you utilize that to prevent and avoid or even help the conflicts that inevitably come with finances? [00:08:35] Speaker C: First off, when you're seeing another person's picture, which may be vastly different than yours, and I remember having a couple where they were talking about retiring and he had drawn a picture of travel, planes, exciting places. She had drawn a picture of moving near her children and staying local and being around them. Totally two different pictures, same relationship. What are you going to do? Right. And so part of the communication in relationships is learning how to talk to each other in a way that's not confrontational, more with curiosity. I'm curious about that picture. I see a lot of travel. Tell me why or what is it about travel that excites you? And back and forth until we somehow get onto a same page or something that's mutual that we do together or something that we understand that maybe when we're older you'll do a little more traveling and I'll be over here, but we'll be okay. So you sort of, once you have mutual respect to each other and you're curious, curious, not judgmental, the other person feels that and you somehow become softer. So the emotions that come are able to be a little bit less aggressive or stressful. They're a little tamer. Does it make sense? [00:09:48] Speaker B: That makes complete sense. I like the way that you framed highlights a few things for me that I can even recall in personal life or when I'm helping, you know, when I'm mentoring people. And inevitably we always end up in the conversation of relationships and whatnot. And it's kind of similar to how I've seen things, but I the depth you bring to it because there's so much more to it than the surface. You can really see. Right. It's. There's also that genuine interest and curiosity you can have in your partner. And one thing I know is finances end up being one of the biggest points of conflict and stress and struggle in a relationship. So when you're finding a way to communicate it, to look at it and to remove the stress and anxiety from it, you've now taken away the power of the fear factor with the finances. And I like the way you frame it because it gives hope, it gives excitement to a topic that a lot of people avoid. I feel a lot of couples like to avoid that conversation, that topic, because it's going to bring stress and conflict. Have you seen a consistency of working with people where it goes from being a fear like something they're want to avoid? You know, maybe it's taboo or little squeamish and turns into something exciting. [00:11:01] Speaker C: You know, it's interesting when we talk about these emotional triggers, we know that money triggers are often a lot more intense than other triggers because they bring up an emotion that we're not even familiar with and they have history behind it. And so in relationships, when I start getting curious, even about myself, why do I get so triggered? When my husband picks up pre washed grapes and I think it's the most ridiculous thing to spend money on, but he seems to think that great. He thinks my manicures are ridiculous. I think that's brilliant. Right? So we have these different ways of understanding money and how we're using them. But if I start seeing how ridiculous how my money mindset's playing into my relationship, I could stop taking myself so seriously. So it's almost like I'm like, oh, he wants his shoe shined in the airport. I don't know if they do it anymore, but he loves that. And I'm like, all right, this is his manicure. Okay. Oh, I see. I see myself getting uptight. Cool. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Yep, Cool. [00:11:58] Speaker C: Wow. So now I stopped taking myself so much so a lot less seriously. And I'm like, that's my money mindset talking. That's. [00:12:06] Speaker B: I love this conversation. I've got to jump in right there. We can't give away all the gold and all the wisdom right away. Don't go anywhere. We will be right back on the bottom line to talk more about the in depth relationship and financial aspects. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Success isn't given, it's earned and earning it means becoming the person who deserves it. The bottom line is where we cut through the chaos to simplify success. Success uncovering the strategies, mindset and resilience it takes to win real stories, expert insights, and practical tools. Because the only way to the top is by putting in the work. This is the bottom line. [00:13:00] Speaker B: Welcome back to the Bottom Line. I am thrilled with the conversation I'm having today with an incredible guest, Simi, once again. She is the founder and CEO of Prosper Financial Wellness. Simi is a financial therapist who helps people reduce the stress and anxiety they feel around money. And today we're going to talk about so much more on why people still struggle with this even when they are intelligent and successful. So, Simi, welcome to the show. I love having you here. This has already been so much fun. I can't wait to dive into this. [00:13:31] Speaker C: Great. Let's get started. Can't wait either. [00:13:33] Speaker B: I'm gonna jump right in. Why do so many intelligent people still struggle with managing their money? [00:13:42] Speaker C: People struggle because they think it's intellectual. Money's not intellectual. It's not. We're emotional beings. There's a fabulous book. It's called Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. And it just proves to us how irrational we really are. [00:14:00] Speaker B: I like that you're bringing the humanity into it because we are irrational. You know, we can't always be logical in everything. I mean, we're wired differently, we think differently. Our emotions are valid. They are real. They're really there. And if it's something that we know controls our livelihood so much, yeah, there's going to be a lot of emotional involvement in that thing. So it leads me to another question. What are the biggest financial blind spots that hold people back from real success? [00:14:29] Speaker C: There are so many financial roadblocks that hold people back from success. A couple of them can be their relationship with money that they don't even have. So very often I'll ask the client to look around their room and describe to me in a picture what looks like money to them, what represents money to them. And it's fascinating to hear people's responses. Some people will respond, it's a straight jacket. Money is a straight jacket. Other people will respond, it's a diamond, a rough diamond. Opportunity, Right? And the relationship we have with money and the way we see money has an impact in the way we earn it. There are very many people who have the feeling that money is. Is almost maybe the culture they grew up in. It's. It's a shameful thing. You don't want to have more than the next person or you're too frivolous if you have a lot of money or you're not part of the gang or you must have enough Money. And so if someone's brought up in a culture that maybe money is not valued in a, in, in a talk way where it's more like you need to do for people. You need to expend your time and energy. That is what is in value. Then they sort of, if they make money, you'll see those people, they're going to end up giving it away to charity, to spending, as long as it's not part of them. And they'll be wondering why they don't never have money. If they're earning money, usually they'll sabotage themselves from earning it. That's one really strong point. [00:15:57] Speaker B: You struck a bit of a heartstring for me because you once again brought up kind of the concept of culture and background and how that really plays into it and how that can be a big generator of the roadblocks. I know for me, my background is I come from the bottom end of the lower class. You know, money where I'm from was over emphasized. It was made much bigger and more important than I've come to realize that it is. So from a young age, it was a big just. Life was all about chasing the bill, you know, chasing the dollar to become successful, big, important, and be able to provide a life that, you know, we didn't have access to. But as I've grown, money became less and less and less important. It's funny, when you make money, the goal, it'll always be fleeting. But if you make relationships, connections serving your purpose, the goal, money's automatic. So it's like you emphasized how your upbringing, where you come from, can change all that. Your perspective, cancel. How can someone go from feeling financially overwhelmed to feeling confident and in control? [00:17:07] Speaker C: Well, first off, I so appreciate your background because very often when people come from a struggling background, their focus is making sure maybe the next generation never has that experience. And what that may look like is, I'm going to give my children everything they possibly want because I couldn't have it. And then that generation ends up growing up really feeling entitled. And you don't even end up bringing up the generation you're thinking about because like you said, when you make money, the goal, you, you sort of get blinded by what's important. Even to the fact where if you go with your child to the store and they say they want something and you can't afford it, if you tell the child, well, you know, we don't want it now, or it's not our value, or maybe you need to earn it or something like that, as opposed to saying, we can't afford it, the child will grow up healthier. When you tell a child, oh, we can't afford it, that's the reason we're not getting it. Their information is, I need to make more money so I can get the things I want. There's no value on anything. It's just I need to afford it, right? [00:18:08] Speaker B: Yes. And you, you reminded me of, of something. I can't remember where I heard this from, but it's something that sticks in my mind. And, and I, I think you hit the nail right on the head and this ties into it really, really well. Hard times make hard people, Hard people make soft times, Soft times makes soft people. And it's repeating cycle. So like you said, some people, you know, when they grow up in poverty, whatnot, you can definitely overlook the real value of things and what you're really after, what it's really meant to be. And there's a lot of risk factor in that. So as, as someone that had come from that background, I had to learn very quickly. You know, either A, I keep chasing this thing and it's always going to run away from me, or B, I find a different reason to move, a different reason why I do what I do so that I can find that enjoyment in life. And it's not all about that rat race for a better way to put it. So in relationships, how, how do you see that you can get, or how can couples get on the same page to be driven about financial freedom and success? [00:19:14] Speaker C: Having money conversations early on, theoretical money conversations, something like, if we would want to go on a vacation, how much would we want to spend and why? What would our choice be? What would we want to get out of it? So you're starting to theoretically understand your meaning. Having introspection to understand your meaning to what's important to you as a couple, as a person, so that you could sort of meld and blend together to see how, what will make it work, to make us feel like. You say that feeling of success doesn't come from a number. It comes from a contentment, which is from fulfillment, from feeling needed, from doing things that you feel good about. Relationships, experiences, all those things will give you a better feel about yourself. So having those conversations together theoretically, before they're practical, so that you can start learning each other from not an emotional, stressful place, has that opportunity. And I love the way that you said those cycles because I am totally like my grandmother, very less similar to my mom. And that is what happens in life. Like we sort of Skip that cycle in general. Yeah. [00:20:31] Speaker B: You know, it's funny. I really hope our viewers are getting as fired up about this as I am, because this is. This is gold. This is. This is real wisdom and experience and facts that are so easily overlooked. You know, there's a concept I deal with in consulting that the simple things are the easily overlooked things. We like to dig into stuff a little too deep sometimes rather than stay where it's obvious and see the facts that are involved. Right. And when it comes to relationships and finances, all of us are going to assume there's complications. But I think you touched base on the reality that it's valuable in so many ways to have those conversations, to have those connections, because it can inspire trust and faith in each other and that unity of traveling in the same direction. If there's one thing I know splits people apart, it's how they feel about money. So in your life, through your experience, how have you applied some of these practices in your own life? I'm really curious, coming from an expert. What do you do? [00:21:34] Speaker C: Guys, date night. Money Date night. Money date night has nothing to do with regular global conversations about the family, nothing to do with the stresses of every day. I mean, sometimes we need to have those. But money date night is an experience. So you want to make sure that there's music, maybe there's ice cream, if that's what's necessary. There's an ambiance to it. When we have these money conversations maybe once a month to talk about what we would like for next month, what's going on, and what. What would we be happy with to create that feeling of contentment, togetherness, teamwork, feeling the relationship. Because when the relationship is strong, we know that money stresses are the number one source of stress in America across the globe. So we want to make sure that. And sometimes when there's money stress, it looks like my relationship is in stress. It's not true. I want your viewers to remember, guys out there, if there's money stress, it doesn't mean your relationship's up, doesn't mean that your relationship's at stake. Sometimes money magnifies problems. And so whether a person feels that they're frivolous or whether the person feels that there's not enough or it's not being used properly or tended to, there's a lot of feeling about it. So just be mindful of that. [00:22:52] Speaker B: That was. That was beautifully put. And I like the angle that you just pointed out there. Just because you're having money problems doesn't mean things are over or it's going to go sideways completely. I like to look at it as reframing the setback. And this is one of my big points when it comes to communication keynotes and that's reframing how you look at this. A problem, an issue, a struggle, conflict, confrontation, all of it can be an opportunity to grow together more, to become better for each other, to become stronger for each other. And finances shouldn't be looked at any other way. It's just another opportunity to simplify and to get on the same page. And I like the experience that you're sharing there because it's hard to want to listen to somebody that doesn't have that kind of experience themselves. So leading into this next conversation, I'm really curious as to what are some of the practical routines that we can apply in our day to day life to keep that financial conversation relevant and always in the front part of the mind. So what are some of the quick 10 second routines you have in your morning that get you prepared to be financially strong and disciplined? [00:24:12] Speaker C: Well, first one of my routines, honestly is seeing who showed up for me today. So when I wake up, I sit down for my coffee and I'm like, okay, what's showing up for me today? Oh, here's Mr. Imposter Syndrome. Whatever decisions I'm making incoming from me today, OR oh, here's Mr. Anxiety, right? All these things, all these emotions that we have going on. If I'm not aware, the same thing that will happen with my money today will feel completely different when I'm in a different frame of mind. [00:24:41] Speaker B: I've got to jump in right there. Imposter syndrome. I've got, we've definitely got to talk more about that because there's so much value in that concept. So our viewers don't go anywhere. You got to grab a pen and a pad. We're going to be right back on the bottom line. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Success isn't given, it's earned. And earning it means becoming the person who deserves it. The bottom line is where we cut through the chaos to simplify success, Uncovering the strategies, mindset and resilience it takes to win. Real stories, expert insights and practical tools. Because the only way to the top is by putting in the work. This is the bottom line. [00:25:36] Speaker B: We are back on the bottom line. In the last segment, we explored why even smart, capable people struggle with managing their finances. Now we're talk, we're tackling an even bigger, bigger misconception is a good way to put this. The idea that making more money will solve all your financial struggles. Simmy so many people believe that if they can just earn more, all their financial problems will go away. Why is that not always the case? [00:26:07] Speaker C: Yeah. And people that tend to feel like they want to earn more and it will all go away are usually people that will end up being workaholics and stress a lot about their money, make sure they have enough in savings and it's never enough. There's no number that's enough. Because that feeling that they feel like it's just a hair breath away. We know what happens when you earn a little more money. That goal post moves. The studies will show you that it takes about 24 to 36 months until that becomes your new normal. So now your lifestyle just increased with that little extra money. So we've got to earn a little more. And so you're on this rat race of constantly trying to earn just a little more, just a little more, just a little more. When does it stop? [00:26:53] Speaker B: I that's, that's a pretty powerful point. I, I you, that's a really good one. I see this a lot with entrepreneurs I deal with on a regular basis. They almost, it's people can idolize their finances. Money becomes an idol and we chase it, chase it, chase it, thinking if we just get to this point for just get to this point and it always changes. It's almost like a revelation has to happen. You have to realize, oh, wait a minute. During this time of chasing, and here's a great example, early in my career, I worked my way through a big manufacturing company. I took over the company. I was younger. I was the director of operations and chief operations officer of a very, very large manufacturing company. And I was recently married and we had a child on the way. And I, I was so lost in the sauce of accolades, achievement, and the financial gains that I started losing the love and the value of being at home and being present. It's like a cycle I was creating for myself that, oh, I need to work more, do, do more, work harder, make more money so I can provide a better life for them. And it took my wife sitting me down and saying, hey, you're not being the man you vowed to be. You're trying to give us everything, but the only thing we need is you and I. I think that's such a powerful thing to look at. So what are the real factors that determine whether someone is financially secure? [00:28:17] Speaker C: You know, what you mentioned before and the financial secure is a feeling. Let's just talk about that feeling. But when you mentioned before you mentioned a financial goal. Very often goals are not in line with our values. So I had a client, when I have clients that come in and their goal is to make a million dollars. If their goal is to make a million dollars and they need to do in 100 hour weeks to get to that goal, and they're motivated to do anything to get to their million dollars. But then they lost their value. They didn't recognize that at that point, the kid, the kids went away on their own. By the time they turn around, they've lost out so much in life and they're feeling horrible, They've gotten to their goal and they're miserable. And then they come to me, why am I miserable? I have so much money. I made the money I earned. That was my goal. What was what? What happened? So my goals and values are not so in line. So what would someone need to do to be financially secure? You need to really check in with yourself, what are my values? When you know what your values are, knowing how to make financial decisions becomes so much simpler. When I was younger, I thought having a clean house is the most important thing. I raised a house full of children, most important thing. But then I realized I wanted all the neighborhood kids in my house to play with my kids. And if I wanted that, I needed to let go of that. My value was more that my children should have more fun in my house. I can protect them or whatever else it was for me. And so that changed and shifted my goals. Our goals could shift and change. We do. We are humans. We evolve. And so creating the financial security, maybe today will look different than in five years. But starting to have those conversations with yourself. [00:30:02] Speaker B: That was so powerful and you touched base on a topic that I like to talk about a lot when I mentor people. And it's making sure your core values aren't aligned with your actions. Make sure what you're doing, the way you're acting, the things you're trying to become is actually in alignment with what you believe and what you truly care about. We can get lost in that interpretation of I'm doing this for this core value, but at the same time, you're compromising another for that. And that is that that constant battle, that conflict we run into is feeling like it's never enough. We're not doing enough, we're not providing enough, we're not becoming enough. And it's a trap. It's got to be able to take that step back and realize you're doing well. You got to have your priorities straight. You Got to value the things that you can control. And it's like, you know, there's that old saying, you can't. Can't fit a camel through the eye of a needle. I mean, you can't take it with you when you go. So having those relationships be prioritized should be the number one thing, right? So here's another good question. What's the number one habit successful people use to build true financial independence? [00:31:11] Speaker C: What you said before, how much is my enough? How much is enough? What's enough for me may not be enough for you. How often? And we have a game that we play is my enough game. And I very often will have clients in and let's say one of the things is how much is enough? And it's one to five, right? And one is how much is enough insurance. And some it goes from like no insurance necessary to the best insurance somewhat in between. And I remember having a couple here and there and she puts in best insurance and he puts in no insurance. They never had this conversation, but they knew they had stress when it came to insurance, but they never had this conversation. So now we said, why? What about not having insurance is important to you? That it's not like on your enough? It's like the lowest thing possible. And he says, well, I made calculations ensure health insurance is so costly nowadays that it just pays to pay out of pocket. And she says, well, where I come from, we got the best, so we can have any opportunity at our beck and call. Medical things are not something you play around with, right? How much is your enough? So we have these enough is how much, house is enough, how much food is enough? What is a day off and entertainment for the children look like enough? What does vacation look like? Is vacation a walk in the park or is vacation a cruise? What in between is enough? And if you have number fives on all those enoughs, that usually signals a very unhappy person because everything needs to be the highest and the best. So learning about your enough and starting to question yourself. Well, you know, it's okay for me to have takeout once a week, but you know what, it's really, it's okay for me to have buy takeout once a week, even though right now I'm doing it every night and my enough is really once a week. Maybe I could take a look at that and say, hey, I don't really need to do takeout every night. That's really a cost plus. [00:33:00] Speaker B: I really like that game. As a matter of fact, that's going to have to Be something that I employ in my household. Because one of the things my wife was really good about was helping me identify what is enough. Because like I said, with my background, where I come from, the way I was raised, you know, I. I had to idolize the dollar for a while to understand, like, okay, I need to develop these skills, these work ethics, you know, all these different things. And I was in that pursuit of more, more, more, more, more for a reason that really wasn't worth it. And my wife was always so good about, hey, we don't need that. That's not in alignment with who you say you are, what you vowed to be, what you plan to do, what your dreams are. You're trying to go in a direction that isn't you. This is enough. And it's like that turned into a constant conversation. Now, like every week we try to sit down and talk about, okay, where are we? Where are we going? What do we like? What do we not like? What do we want to change? And I like the idea of bringing that game into the mix that makes so much sense. It gets that conversation going and it helps set those boundaries within our heart, our mind, and our relationship. So there's so much power in some of these concepts you're bringing up. What are some other strategies that you found that couples can turn this into an enjoyable topic where it becomes something they can look forward to? [00:34:24] Speaker C: Enjoyable topic, money. Enjoyable topic, money. Different strategies to do this. Do we play the game Cash flow for fun? Do we play, you know what, what games are we going to play today? What books are we going to read together so that it becomes something that, like the book says it? Should we do it now? We can have a conversation. It's the book against us. What are we doing right? So you want to create, facilitate, maybe any of those money books that are helpful money games. There's so much out there that you can make fun of, but what and work with. And I really appreciate, and I want to point out that you had this level of humbleness that allowed you to respect your wife's opinion and take a step back and say, oh, yeah, honey, that is enough for me, as opposed to saying, no, my way. I do need to earn that. It is important. So the level of respect that you have for your wife is really incredible. And for all your listeners out there, that's where you want to go. You want to sort of be able to. I love to explain this in the essence. The essence. Get the essence out of the person, the conversations. Not important about saying all the Words back. Grab the essence of who your person is. Who is this person you're living with? They may look like they're a frivolous spender, or they may look like a nervous person. But at their core, who are they? Who are they at their core? I love to use the example of water that has a flavor in it. Have you ever noticed they have sparkling water with maybe infusion of strawberry, blueberry? Have you ever noticed that? [00:35:51] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Yeah, all the time. [00:35:53] Speaker C: So if you look at the side, it says zero under everything in all the ingredients. So how do they actually get the flavor into there? [00:36:02] Speaker B: That's a good question. [00:36:03] Speaker C: Yeah. So the way they do it is they boil up that fruit, that strawberry or blueberry, and they capture the smoke, the essence of the fruit, and they put it into the bottle, and that's what you want to do with your spouse, with your partner, with your relationship person, to create that feeling of connection. Just grab the essence, the essence of who they are, the essence of the conversation. That may look like when you come home and my husband says to me, how was your day? And I go, why were you late? He says, it looks like you worried, as opposed to, well, I was late because why are you getting uptight about me anyway? You control it. Right? He grabs the essence, and that diffuses everything, and now we have connection. So I appreciate that from you, Ryan. [00:36:48] Speaker B: That. That's. I haven't thought of it like that. I haven't looked at it like that. So talking to you is definitely helping me kind of see a different picture there. And. And it definitely wants to reinforce some of those good behaviors. Right. I think there is a fine line between respect and honoring the person that you. You. You collaborate with, the person you live life with. And. And to be honest with you, I think this conversation is extremely powerful. I know it's helping me, and I. I believe it's going to be helping our viewers in so many, so many different ways. And I truly look forward to continuing this conversation. So everybody that's watching and listening to this, do not go away. This is getting really good, really powerful, and I recommend you stick around because we're gonna have a lot more on the bottom line. [00:37:49] Speaker A: Success isn't given, it's earned. And earning it means becoming the person who deserves it. The bottom line is where we cut through the chaos to simplify success, uncovering the strategies, mindset, and resilience it takes to win real stories, expert insights, and practical tools. Because the only. Only way to the top is by. [00:38:09] Speaker B: Putting in the work. [00:38:10] Speaker A: This is The Bottom Line. [00:38:13] Speaker B: Here we are again on the Bottom Line with your host, Ryan Herpin. This is our last chance to dig into the beautiful mind of Simi. Last segment we talked about why making more money doesn't necessarily solve financial problems. Now let's dive into financial anxiety. The emotions, stress, and mental blocks that keep people from that financial security. Sammy, financial anxiety is a huge issue for so many people, regardless of income. Why? Why do they think money triggers so much stress? [00:38:48] Speaker C: You know, think about when we grew up. Money usually wasn't discussed. It was sort of kept in a secret. It just wasn't a topic to discuss. And some people actually grew up with not such a great money experience. So maybe they went shopping with mom and mom would say, don't tell dad about this and let's hide the receipt. Right. And they got that information like money. Or maybe the bills would come and there would be some stress. Or maybe they were going out to eat and dad would say, you know, just the things you need. Maybe no drinking. We could have the water in the car. Right. So what was that person's experience when it came to money? Or maybe there was enough money in the house but dad lost it later on or something happened, someone got sick and no one was able to work. There are so many experiences that we go through in life that have an impact in the way we feel about our money. [00:39:36] Speaker B: That's such a powerful point. And I have countless experiences where I can see how some of my experiences growing up and things like that impacted the way I handled money. I know a long time ago, my grandfather passed away and I was in a position where I was making enough money. I wanted to pay for all of it. I wanted to take care of him, I wanted to get this headstone, I wanted to make sure he had a casket. And the funeral was, was, was great to me, it was an honor. I seen it as an honor to sacrifice my finances to honor him in a way that, that puts him at rest. Right. And looking at where I come from, you know, money was so tight, we, we struggled with things we didn't really want to spend without. Good point. So it ties into those values you brought up earlier. It's how does that fit into your core values? How do you spend money that way? Right. So how can someone shift their mindset from fear based financial habits to empowered financial decisions? [00:40:36] Speaker C: Well, guess where it starts. In the same place it started in our minds. Everything that we see is a lens. Imagine that you see the world through a camera and the camera has a window in front of it. The thinking that we have is the lens in front of that camera. So if that camera is dirty, we're seeing a dirty world, even though it's perfectly clear out there. So our anxiety is similar. And I describe this to as anxiety. If you wanted to think about what anxiety is, if you stopped and did nothing, you would get about an average of 3 to 5,000 thoughts per hour. Just random. I'm sitting on a chair. This is what it is, just a bunch of thoughts. The minute I give import importance to a thought, it becomes like, imagine a dumbbell jumping in my head, a heavy dumbbell. And now I've got all these dumbbells jumping in my head. And when that happens, it looks sort of like a snow globe. I can't have clarity. I can't help myself. I can't think better as long as that's going on. So how do we settle it? Right? How do we settle that? Sometimes we could do physiological things. Learning how to breathe well, learning how to settle your thinking. Learning to take yourself not so seriously. Seeing what. Where are you today? Am I in a bad place? Oh, yeah, that, that lens. All right, big decision's not going to be good today. People talking to me, not a good idea today. [00:42:09] Speaker B: You know, that's, that's. I love how you put that. It's some common. That I work with as well. At least that concept of in my way, that I help myself, my wife and my clients and my mentees is routine. You've got to have a healthy, consistent, structured routine that allows you to be prepared. It's just like every morning, very first thing I do when I wake up is I turn on a motivational video. And usually my life. My wife leaves before me for work. Otherwise I would drive her nuts. Once upon a time, she had to listen to all of them. With me, she didn't have a choice. But having that routine, that consistent discipline will help. It's always helped me keep my view the right way to keep things in perspective the right way to value things the right way. But I notice when you don't have routine, you don't have structure, you don't have those good habits. Everything is chaotic. One thing can get you excited. One thing can break you down. What do you think about that? How do you feel about those influences and just how rapid it can change somebody without discipline? [00:43:11] Speaker C: Well, first of all, I think that works really well for you. And it seems like you're a really good, disciplined person. You're a neurotypical, good, disciplined person for someone who maybe Struggles with ADHD or maybe has neurodivergency. This would not work. Structure, they need it, but it doesn't resonate as strongly. So I think the biggest anecdote for finding for the stress or helping yourself with anxiety is gratitude is learning to grateful for. So the first thing would wake up is like, what am I grateful for before I even get out of bed? Wow, I could get out of bed. I have two feet. I could walk. Like these little things when you're ill, you will realize they mean a lot. Breathing without having chest pains. Right. They mean a lot. We don't, we take it for granted. Getting into bed at night. The last thing I do let me write three grateful things. Maybe my spouse, maybe my children, maybe me, maybe the world. And that is an anecdote to sometimes release and see good when the body and our brain is trying to push us for the negative. If that makes any sense. [00:44:14] Speaker B: That makes so much sense. The gratitude, the gratitude aspect I think is extremely powerful and overlooked. I know that's something that I've tried to apply in my life, in my daily routine. But I also like how you put that, the structure, that routine doesn't necessarily work for everybody. You know, everybody's different. We all think differently, we all act differently. So it's got to be tailored approach for everybody. Right. You know, what might work for me might not work for everybody else. But that gratitude aspect, I think that is the universal fix for a lot of people is just reminding us what we're grateful for, what we have to be happy about. [00:44:47] Speaker C: Ryan, honestly, I giggled when you said that you listened to motivational speeches because my daughter does the same thing. So every morning I have from the other room and to me, I want my coffee quietly, please. Thank you very much. So, right. So everyone has their different routines. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I think you and my wife would get along in that sense. She's definitely the type of morning person where when she gets up, she wants her quiet coffee, peaceful time to wake up and prepare for the day. Me, I need Eric Thomas, T.D. jakes or Jim Rohn yelling at me, getting me fired up for my day. Complete polar opposites in that regard. So I love your perspective on it. That makes so much sense. And I think this actually will help me help some of my clients a little bit differently. Kind of see some of those signs of what might be a better discipline and effect for them. So this conversation has been absurdly powerful and valuable in so many ways. Where can our viewers find you? [00:45:46] Speaker C: Well, you can find us on the web at www.proser P R O S P R no E for no excuses.fit like remember those dumbbells, the fitness fit? You could definitely find us there. We have a page that has free resources. We also have a free video to tell you a little bit about financial therapy. What it is, who it's for, how it helps. Feel free to take that. Feel free to take our financial anxiety quiz. See where you score. Maybe doing great, amazing, maybe there's a lot more stresses. We have some different tips and techniques to help you through that, and that's how you find us. [00:46:25] Speaker B: I'm curious, what is the ideal person to work with you? What do they look like? What area of life are they in? [00:46:33] Speaker C: Typically, the typical person that's coming is anywhere from their high 20s to maybe mid-50s, where they're undergoing a sort of change. The money is not working for them either. There's a literacy component, like I just was never taught, and I don't know how to use it well, like how many accounts should I have? So there's that component or there's stress about it. Like, I see that no matter what, I know I'm just not doing it. What's getting in my way or what's getting in my relationship or our kids are getting older. What worked before isn't working anymore. How do we change it so something happens? [00:47:05] Speaker B: I like that. I think there's a lot of people out there that could use a connection like you could use an influence like you in their life. I mean, influence creates all of our reality. And I know for a fact the type of influences I have in my life make the biggest of differences. So I think you potentially could be a major resource for so many people out there, because I think you are targeting something a lot of people avoid. Sometimes it's taboo. And kudos to your courage for being the person that wants to target this thing and beat on it until it's fixed. There's so much value in that. So I truly appreciate having you on today. This has been an incredible experience for me, and I believe it is for our viewers as well. I look forward to having you on in the future. So thank you for being with us today. [00:47:49] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having me, for listening, for keeping up and allowing this topic to be aired. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Absolutely. And if today's episode has shown us anything, it's that financial freedom isn't just about making more, it's about managing more, understanding more in changing our relationship with money. Money is emotional. The stress, the fear, the anxiety, it's all tied to our beliefs, our habits, and our mindset. But here's the good news. Just like any skill, financial confidence can be learned. So I challenge you today. Take one small step toward financial clarity. Maybe it's tackling your spending. Maybe it's setting up a savings plan. Or maybe it's just sitting down and being honest with yourself and your spouse about where you are financially. Whatever it is, start now. As Warren Buffett once said, the chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. I think there's a lot of power in that. It something small can turn into something really big. It's better to address it now, deal with it now, handle it now before it is something that is too big to bear, something too big to overcome. The best time to take control of your financial future is today. It's not something worth waiting on, goofing around about or taking too lightly. I know. I wish I would have started much sooner on my financial literacy journey. Thank you for joining us today on THE Bottom Line. I'm Ryan Herpin, and I'll see you next time as we continue uncovering the keys to success. So until then, stay strong, stay focused, and remember, success isn't given, it's earned. Sa.