The Bottom Line(Aired 05-19-25) Stop Playing Small: Crush Self-Doubt and Unlock Your True Potential

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Success isn't given, it's earned. And earning it means becoming the person who deserves it. The bottom line is where we cut through the chaos to simplify success. Uncovering the strategies, mindset and resilience it takes to win. Real stories, expert insights, and practical tools. Because the only way to the top is by putting in the world. This is the bottom line. We are here on the bottom line. I'm your host, Ryan Herpin and and today we're talking about a challenge that hits very close to home for me and it affects so many gifted, creative people. And it's self doubt. You know, this is something that all of us deal with, not a lot of us talk about it. And it does play a much bigger role in business. Being a parent, being a student, being so many areas of life, self doubt can creep in and derail things. And what I see, and I think a lot of our audience can attribute to this, is that we know when we have something special to offer. But self doubt keeps, keeps holding us back. It often feels like we're not good enough to succeed, like we're painting our lives with someone else's brush. And that's a pretty rough feeling. And like I said, I've been there many, many times. And even to this day, when I'm stepping into new territories, new fields, new objectives, new goals, I still have that sense of self doubt. And I want to talk today about how we can really conquer that. But before we bring on today's guest, because we have someone really incredible to talk to about this topic, I'm really excited for it, but I want to reflect on this idea. We weren't meant to shrink in the shadow of our doubts. We were meant to rise through them. This segment is all about understanding that the first step to owning your power is believing it's already within you. And I want to start this by really highlighting a couple major points that resonate with me. Well, and that is self doubt is not a flaw. It's a signal that you care. But caring doesn't mean you have to stay stuck. We wouldn't doubt ourselves if we didn't care. If you genuinely didn't care about the outcome or what people thought or what the future brings, none of it would matter. You wouldn't doubt yourself, you wouldn't care about it. But because you care, you're gonna feel that sense of self doubt. And, and I want to highlight, our brain is wired for survival, not thrival. So self doubt, a lot of the time comes from stepping into something uncomfortable. We don't really doubt ourselves with something we've done a million times or something we're confident in or great at, right? Writing my name. I'm pretty confident writing my name. I don't have any self doubt for that. But do I have doubt sometimes when it comes to writing a new book? Absolutely. But the reality is we've got to get comfortable being uncomfortable because growth does not come from those comfort zones. And truth is, every expert, every artist, every leader, everybody that has achieved anything major in life, once upon a time, felt unqualified. And that's normal. It's very, very normal. To feel unqualified for what it is you want to do or what it is you are doing is okay. We're always learning. If you were the expert and knew everything there was to know about any given thing, you probably wouldn't be watching me. But you're always going to feel that. And I call this the imposter syndrome, right? And in one of my books I'm writing right now, I talk about imposter syndrome. I'm going to talk about it in a little bit of a different way today than I am in the book. But you're going to feel unqualified, becoming the person you are by trying to walk in those shoes right now. You're not that person yet. If you believe you're not, you're gonna feel uncomfortable, you're gonna feel unqualified. But truth is, to manifest anything, to become anything, you have to live with the feeling and the belief that you already are the thing or already doing that thing before you are. So imposter syndrome is telling you you're unqualified. You're not ready, you're not this. You're a liar, you're a hypocrite, it's not true. You're just becoming this thing. And those are the natural byproducts of putting in the effort. And feeling unqualified is one of them. But self doubt thrives in silence. One of the best ways to overcome self doubt is speaking your truth out loud, surrounding yourself with the right people. It's extremely important. This is something that I cannot undervalue and you should not undervalue. So if, grab pen and pad, write this down, because this is, this is something that a lot of people underestimate and that is the people that are around you. The people can either help you grow, change, move. They can build you up or they can break you down. They can become that weight, that cord that drags you back and stops you from growing. They can become the cage that prevents you from moving forward. So finding the right people, surrounding yourself with them and speaking your truth out loud. Tell them, tell them what your goals are. Tell them what your doubts are. Tell them what it is you want to be, what it is you want to become. And I promise, if they're real friends and good people, they're going to tell you the truth, even if it sucks. But at the same time, they're also going to tell you when you're good at it or you should go after it. You should have the confidence. That is a big killer for self doubt. A lot of self doubt is rooted in fear. I would argue that all self doubt is rooted in fear. Some sort. A lot of it is fear for letting people down or the judgment of others. It can be fear of just not fulfilling what it is you truly desire. But that will hold you down, that'll keep you quiet. Speaking those truths, speaking that out loud. You're going to find people that can combat that. They can remind you that you're, you're good at this thing, you're great at this. And you can do this. You can make anything happen. It changes everything. When people stand behind you ready to push you forward, the world feels a whole lot easier to deal with. But the world is full of noise telling us who to be. But self worth grows when we learn to quiet the noise and listen inward. I want to break that down a little bit further because our biggest critics are ourselves. We doubt ourselves with everything. We think we're worse off than we really are. We see ourselves in a different light than other people see us. And it's, it's funny because I say something in within these lines to my wife all the time. You know, sometimes my wife is a little self conscious about herself. She just had another baby. You know, we're a growing family, we're still young. But sometimes she can be self conscious about her body. And I always have to tell her, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Because the way she sees herself is completely different than the way I see her. So understand, we're always going to be our worst critic. We're always going to break ourselves down more than what we really should. But that's why it's important to surround yourself with those people. Right? You know, often what we think disqualifies us is the very thing that connects us to others. Your wounds. When healing becomes wisdom, really. And, and, and that's how I find a lot of people that I work with on a regular basis, whether I become their mentor or I'm their consultant for their business. A lot of it is, is originally from a connection. Not. Not just the fact I need help, but when they do come to me, when I do get introduced, I always find that point of connection. Whether it be a wound we've dealt with or something we've had to go through, or common dreams, common goals, we always got to find that thing that connects us rather than disqualifies us from progress. And more often than not, people know what you're going through. We like to say, no one understands what I'm going through. That is a mental thing. You're telling yourself lies. Don't believe it. If you. Because there's a lot of people out there that know what you're feeling, know what you're going through, because they've been through it. So don't think your experience is so unique to you that it disqualifies you from connecting with others, because it doesn't. It can actually be the thing that unifies you, that brings you close to people and creates that meaningful connection that can turn into astronomical growth. But don't let that self doubt eat you, right? Because confidence isn't loud or flashy. It's choosing to show up again and again, even when it's uncomfortable. And a lot of people think, you know, the confidence a lot of the time has a little bit of a bad, bad light to it. People think confidence is very closely tied to arrogance, but I don't think so. I think confidence and discipline go hand in hand because discipline shows up when really discipline shows up when, when motivation is fleeting. And confidence shows up when you're feeling kind of low or when people might be doubting you. Right? There's a saying that I, I kind of operate from. I even have it written on my whiteboard. And it's something I try to read every day to myself. And I try to really let sink in. And it builds my confidence. Because one of the biggest motivators for me for the longest time was back in high school we did a time capsule. And back in ninth grade, when we did the time capsule, my class voted me the most likely to either work at McDonald's for the rest of my life, end up dead or in prison. And that really frustrated me. I operated out of spite for a while. I wanted to prove everybody wrong. So my confidence at the time was a little bit of arrogance because I became proud and I wanted to prove everybody wrong. But the saying that I live by now and I keep in the forefront of my mind is one day Those who doubted you will tell the story of how they met you. For me, that sinks in deep because the fruit of my actions will speak for me so I don't have to. Knowing that what I'm doing is going to make a difference gives me all the confidence I need. And the discipline to keep pursuing it only fuels that confidence. Eliminating self doubt. Think of eliminating self doubt as checking things off a list. It's easy way to grow confidence. Make a list of things you've got to do, things you want to do. As you do them, check them off. Being able to measure your progress gives you the confidence to eliminate self doubt. You can trust in your actions, but you cannot manage what you don't measure. So that's another good way to do it. Just like the mere method, which I'll get into that later. But that's a good way to build that confidence, eliminate that self doubt so you don't have to take a giant leap to start stepping into your power. Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is just take the next smallest step. And like I said before, it can be just find people that are like minded that want to boost you up, not break you down. Small step, but it can be the small step that takes off like a rocket ship, right? You are not a mistake and this is a hard one for a lot of people to really connect with. Depends on where you're at in life and where you are mentally. You're not a mistake. You were designed with a purpose, on purpose. The question is, will you trust the process enough to grow into it or are you going to fight it based on what other people think about you and your own self? Doubt. Everyone's born with a gift in my belief. Find that gift, use that gift and have that gift transform others. We've got so much more to talk about in the coming segments with our fantastic guest. I'm excited to dive into this stuff. It's going to be powerful. I want to take notes myself but I've got to be on here so don't go anywhere. We will be right back on the bottom line. We are back on the bottom line. I'm here with today's inspiring guest, Susan Drayton, a visual artist, author, speaker and creator of Susan's Adventure Path. What's your canvas? It is such a pleasure to have you here today. I'm excited for this conversation and what you can really bring to the table. So in this segment, I want us to dive into something that really challenges the way that people think and the way that they deal with their self doubt. The problem I see a lot of people facing, especially in business, is is that self doubt, whether it be really it expands much further than just business. It could be, you know, being a parent, being a spouse, you know, being a coach, doesn't really matter what it is. But self doubt seems to be something that plagues so so many of us. And this is something that hits home for me, you know, pursuing the career that I have. It definitely has played a role in my life that self doubt. So I want to dive right in and it is such a pleasure having you here. So let's get to something that's really important. What helps you silence that inner critic and finally believe in your own gifts. [00:13:07] Speaker B: For me, it was in the moment of that doubt where it feels very empty. You're almost like a hostage. At least I can speak for myself. I felt like a hostage that I couldn't see, see my way out of the doubt. Because not all of myself was curated to the full potential, only certain parts of it. And I had to really do a review as to what has increasingly shined and that I do so well. And how can I trust that that won't disappear while I'm zoning in on other parts of me that still needed to grow, not just mentally, but emotionally and the skill sets of what I needed to accomplish the next level to, to have it very well secured. And a lot of it was me having to be vulnerable with the self doubt, finding out where is it coming from? You know, and not only where is it coming from, but what is the repeated pattern that takes me right back to that self doubt. So I had to really learn to detach from a lot of those emotions that I'm not good enough, that I'm not this and I'm not that. And I had to approach it. Where am I going to make a better choice with my career and the hustle of it being more peaceful or being more stressful. So I then had to sit with it and reconfigurate. What are my new steps that I'm going to be taking where I'm doing it different and I'm going to see it and feel it and just be grateful that I can see it. I acknowledged it, I sat with it and I looked at it from a different perspective just to try different techniques of what I needed to do for my skills, for me not portraying as the fake person that when you first start in your career you feel like you're doing the Charlie Brown dance, where, okay, I know where I'm Supposed to be going, I know what I need to do and I can do parts of it, but yet there's this old version of me. So how do I balance? And I think with the balance is about coming to terms with the old version of you is leaving. And it is okay to transform into the new identity that you have so invested in, which is the self to take you to that next level of a whole new dynamic way of moving, producing and being. It comes into a state of peace and grace. [00:16:56] Speaker A: I really like the way that you put that. And I've got to pull out some of the golden gems that you kind of had in there. Serious wisdom is found there. And there's a lot of things I can connect with. And I want to start with kind of something you brought up. And that's finding that gift, finding that thing that you're good at. Right. I believe everyone was born with some kind of gift. Some people it's baking bread, some people singing. Some people it's art, others it's talking. Find your gift and don't worry so much about being the expert or the master of everything. Master and become the expert of that one thing. And it helps eliminate that self doubt because it gives you an anchor to believe in, believe in your abilities to do that thing. And for me, it helped me so, so much throughout my career to understand what my gift was, what I believe I was born to do. Right. And at the same time, when you have that anchor, you have that point where you feel strong, powerful and confident. It can help eliminate that self doubt in trying new things. Because you know that if you can master this thing, you could learn to be great at other things as well. But that does lead me to another question. And I see this a lot. You know, it's one thing for us to know or to think or to hear all these ways to eliminate that self doubt. But why do you think so many people stay small when they're meant to shine? [00:18:18] Speaker B: I think a lot of it is they're not flowing. So I'm going to use myself as an example. I can't tell you how many rejections I had with my artwork and with my writing before I published the books. And the one thing that helped me when I had the mentor with my art skills in being a painter, she always made it a point to have the audience critique my artwork. And what I loved about that, I took the time to at first be a little bit like, you got to be kidding me. You know what I mean? Not everybody's going to like what I have to, to, to create. It's not going to resonate with everybody and you feel tense at that moment. But then I allowed myself to be curious because something inside of me switched and said, this is perfect in a sense, because they're going to give me feedback. Whether I like it or not is irrelevant. And that's where I had to detach, because the feedback that I got was actually very helpful and I used it to my advantage. And the more we kept on doing that, it was like I was getting free, free advice, free of everything, of charge. That instead of trans knitting it to such a negative place, like, oh, here we go, they're gonna, they're gonna knock me down again. I just looked at it as okay. They see it in a different way, but that doesn't mean it's wrong, doesn't mean it's right. Where can I find the silver lining and take those tools and then bring it back and have it intertwined to the next level? I think where we get lost in why people stay in the comfort zone is because when you're getting ready to go the next phase, it's requiring more of you and you are still like, okay, I know this is happening. I know this has changed for the better, this and that, but why do I still feel a little bit of that doubtness of something? I think because we're so hung up on the expectation instead of the ebb and the flow, and let it just reveal the way it needs to and trusting the more of yourself that what is meant to be, it already is. It just needs to blossom. It needs that space to just blossom and you just keep on going inward. And I don't want to use the word perfection because I feel that's a false narrative in the sense of. [00:21:46] Speaker A: It'S. [00:21:46] Speaker B: The end of learning, it's the end of expansion, but it isn't. It's not about that. It's about evolving more and differently because your maturity level is at a different level and you're going to look at it differently. And as you do so you're not always taking a lot of extra steps. It's more of, okay, I see how I can do this in a lesser time, but more effectively with quality. [00:22:21] Speaker A: I. I think that actually kind of summarizes a few of the major reasons, really. And. And if I had to kind of recap some of those points, from my perspective, it sounds like one of the biggest reasons why people stay small or choose to hide themselves when they're meant to shine is fear. It's all based in fear. You know, we're afraid of what people think. We're afraid of judgment of others, when in reality, other people's opinions don't really matter. But at the same time, those opinions can either build you up or break you down if you let them. Like you talked about other people's opinions, the feedback you'd get sometimes was beautiful. It would build you up. You'd feel confident, you'd feel renewed, refreshed, revitalized and. And able to move forward. And I find that very, very important. But you also mentioned something that's also very critical and should very much be outlined here. And everyone watching really should grab a note and pad for this, because growth does not come from comfort zones. If you're comfortable, you're not growing. Our brains are wired for survival, not thriving. So to be uncomfortable is to grow. That's something that's overlooked. It's too easy to fall in that routine of be small, but. And it prevents us from shining. [00:23:35] Speaker B: But I also think in order for us to evolve, I think we need to have that inner child mindset of curiosity, that free flow of curiosity wondering what would it be like? And not looking at it as, oh, my God, this is another task that's going to be very. [00:23:57] Speaker A: I couldn't agree more. I'm have to jump in right there. [00:23:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:00] Speaker A: We need to get back to this conversation. The next segment. Don't go anywhere. Grab a pen and pad. Like I said before, refill your coffee, do some stretches, whatever it is you got to do. We'll be right back on the bottom. We are back on the bottom line, and I hope you're ready to dive right back in with Susan. Susan Drayton. This is incredible conversation we're having, and I'm so ready to dive in a little bit further. And in this segment, we're exploring what it means to use your gifts to not just to succeed, but to uplift others. And I see that also as a problem in business and life is when you do have a gift, you have established, you have developed it. How do you use that gift to help others, help them identify their things? So, Susan, I'm so excited for this conversation. I feel like there's so much power and wisdom you have in what you're saying. So I want to dive right in, get right to the bottom line as this show would make it pretty relevant. You've used your creativity to support children and global causes. Why is it, why is giving back such a core part of your mission? [00:24:59] Speaker B: I, at a younger age, knew what it, what it was like to not be seen, not to be heard by my own family, even though they knew I had the gift of being an artist, and it was right there in the, in, in the most flesh way that you can see an image on piece of paper or a canvas. But I didn't. I didn't fit the ideal vision that they had for me. I was too different even from my own parents. But I never gave up. And that was the interesting part of me. It was like I just never gave up. And I. I just continue to do what I could do in the realm of, of what I could. And because I was ignored and not taken serious, I don't want other children to go through what I went through. And as a child, you are a spirit sponge and you absorb everything that is great and that is the opposite. But most of all, children are magical in their own way, and they bring miracles. They come to this earth with hidden gems within themselves. We as adults could learn a lot from children with the innocence, with being in the now, the joy, the laughter. And somewhere along the line, us adults, we just allow too much seriousness in our souls to take heed, and we forget to balance that inner child within us. So when I have the time to meet children that are actually doing better than I am in the art realm as, as teenagers, it gives me so much hope, just so much hope that, you know, the world can be created more supreme, more vital in such a profound, unconditional thread if we just choose a free will to allow ourselves to jump in and embrace it and say it doesn't matter what's going on in our lives. I still yet have the free will to want to be part of that thread of joy and creation. And I too have a lot to offer to the village in our community. And I just want healthy communities. And I think we have it. We just sell ourselves short because we're too busy with the hustle and bustle and the responsibilities that, that we forget to honor that inner child within us. [00:28:28] Speaker A: I find that to be extremely true, honestly. You know, it's. It's crazy because you did point out something that a lot of us, we don't even realize when it's the last time you did something right. So at some point we lose that inner child and we become these adults. We give into societal standards or norms or these expectations of a certain way you have to be, a certain way you have to live, certain way you have to operate. We tend to lose that, that genuine love and joy and curiosity for things, right? It's, it's hard to really swallow that pill when you realize you started declining the older you got in the sense of your creativity, your love for life, the day to day, the beauty of the world. And that can take a big toll on you. But at the same time it sounds like a lot of your the giving back you like to do is helping kids and other people identify those gifts in themselves early and to feel comfortable in who they are, what they can do and what they can give back to the world as well. It almost sounds like a cycle of you found yourself, you want to help others find their self and they will do the same thing. Happier, enjoyable life? [00:29:42] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:29:44] Speaker A: I'm curious though. What advice would you give someone who wants to use their gifts to serve others but don't know exactly where to start? [00:29:53] Speaker B: For me, I would say to them, go to places where they allow you to to have your passion be shown in public. There are a lot of galleries, there are a lot of places that don't just do art, they do other, other mediums as well that you can showcase what it is that you do. I mean, today we have social media that's a great platform that you can jump into and just start showcasing what it is that you do. And then from there there's groups that are legit that you can actually team up with, join and have your questions answered to whatever circumstances. But most of all, what I've done for myself, I surrounded myself with people that are more intelligent than I am, been there, done that, they're very balanced and mentally and I can learn from them as well. But it also allows me to be vulnerable and I'm not being judged and vice versa. I love it that I have people that reach out to me and ask for suggestions and I as well will do the same. And I think when you have a nice core group of humans that truly not only see your potential, but know you as time goes on and getting the right advice and it all aligns and you're just gonna flourish. Like last night I was talking to two young men and you know, one's in college, the other one isn't, was on his own since the age of 18. He's very scared to be vulnerable, but he's surrounding himself with positive people and he's seeing the parts that still need to be loved and nourished. And I was talking to them about different scenarios, about interacting with different mindsets and the possibilities of what could happen for the positive and the negative. But they were also willing to talk about faith, how faith also plays in Their everyday life. And these are young men, and they taught me that even though they're at the age that they're at, they're starting off, they're in their early 20s. They're excited. I saw the inner child in them. They're excited. And yes, they're getting frustrated in transitioning to the beginning stages of adulthood, but they were willing to listen to me as I was with them. We showed mutual respect, and I cheered them on as well as they cheered myself. And they are learning to stick with people that really are willing to invest in themselves no matter what, and acknowledging the small steps that I built in quality instead of quantity. [00:33:51] Speaker A: You know, it's. It. That's. It's kind of funny because I kind of. I can relate. You know, in my early 20s, I wasn't exactly sure what it was I really wanted to do with life, but I just knew I was able to work hard. Yeah, yeah. Not. Not a lot of people know what it is they want to do. They don't have that plan that's clear, concise. But something that you did mention that is vital to helping people get started. Right, is just do things publicly. Present yourself. Don't be afraid to be who you are in a public setting. There's people out there that will support you, but also understand you can't make everybody happy. But at the same time, you also talked about the power of surrounding yourself with the right people. So there's a little saying that I work with with my mentees, and I try to always make sure they understand this. The people you surround yourself with can either become the wind beneath your wings and. Or the weight that stops you from flying. Absolutely two possibilities. And those people all contribute to who you are and what you become. So you've got to safeguard that. Those people can help drive you forward at the same time as they can slow you down. But I do find it rather powerful the way that you presented this, because it's that mutual respect and understanding. You put yourself on their level and you open up that door. So it didn't feel like they're being talked down to. They weren't being spoken over. It was open dialogue for somebody who's able to give a little bit of guidance, a little nudge in the right direction with some subtle information and experience and wisdom and. And that sometimes that's all it takes. You never know what you say and how big of an impact it can have on somebody. That's why I believe in surrounding yourself with the right people. [00:35:27] Speaker B: And for me, I enjoy meeting people because their journey is rich. They may not feel it, they may not know it, but it's rich. And I get curious as to, you know, what the question becomes, you know, your life adventure. How much of an adventure have you been? [00:35:51] Speaker A: That's so, so true. So true. I have loved this conversation. There's a massive amount of wisdom that you've provided to me and to our viewers today. Such a pleasure having you on. Don't go anywhere. There is more to come. I've got some thoughts and beliefs that I want to talk about in the next segment. We will be right back on the Bottom Line. We are back at it again on the Bottom Line. And we just heard from our incredible guest, Susan Drayton about overcoming self doubt. Healing through art is something she likes to embody and turning personal gifts into global impact. That, that's something that I like to take away from her and the way that she operates. Now I want to bring this all together. For those of you watching, maybe you've doubted yourself, felt like your story didn't matter or wondered if your gift is enough. The truth, your voice matters, your gift matters. You just have to be bold enough to believe it. Sometimes it's easier said than done. Sometimes you need someone to tell you to toughen up and just do it anyway. But truth is, we all have a gift. We just got to find it. And that gift matters because it can make a difference for somebody else. That's how we know things matter. So I want to dive into a little bit of a different view than we've covered with our guest and cover things from a little bit of a different angle. Self doubt is often rooted in comparison, not just fear, but your journey doesn't have to look like everyone else's, right? We, we constantly want to compare ourselves to others. How successful we are, how fast we got to that success. You know, what are we doing with our lives? Do we have kids already? Do we have a career we run in our business? Are we working for someone else? All these problems, it can get overwhelming. Stop comparing yourself. Here's a fun little thing I like to bring up after doing some research for myself. You know, you've got two. Think of two major phone companies, right? You've got Apple and you've got Samsung. Samsung's board meetings, a lot of their quarterly meetings altogether are comparing their business to Apple, where Apple consistently compares to themselves. They're fighting themselves, they're trying to best themselves. They set a goal, they strive for the goal and they try to do better the next quarter. Stop comparing yourself to other people in their lives, everyone's life looks different. There's so many people that didn't hit a massive amount of success until they're in their late 70s and 80s. There's several artists, for example, where their art was worthless until decades after they had passed away. You can't judge your life, your success, your path, your purpose from others. We all live a different life. Can we use them as basic bookmarks, so to say? Sure. But don't get caught up in comparing yourself to others because that generates this self doubt that creeps in and is always hacking in the back of your mind. And I had this conversation recently with a mentee. Social media is the most relevant thing right now when it comes to marketing. And honestly a lot of it is even entertainment and just basic dopamine release on a regular basis. We always have our phone phones within arm's reach 99% of our day. But one of the problems with social media that creates that comparison of self doubt is typically people only show the highlights of their life. They want to present themselves and represent themselves as something they're not. In a lot of ways. Some people do it subconsciously because it's the way we're programmed. After being exposed to it long enough, it's like a big rat race. We want to show how awesome and cool our life is, when in reality we're only sharing and showing those super high points. It's not often you see people sharing and talking about those low points, so don't get caught up in comparison because you're only going to see the best of other people's lives until you know them pretty close. So it's a good way to get trapped. But pain is not the end of the story. It can become the brushstroke that adds the depth to your masterpiece. And this something I thought about for especially when we were talking to Susan. It was kind of dawning on me. We deal with a lot of pain, a lot of frustration, a lot of sorrow, guilt, you know, worry, all these things. And a lot of it is coming from us. It's not even coming from the outside, it's coming from ourselves. We're creating this problem for ourselves. We create the anxiety, the stress, the worry, the guilt. We're doing it for ourselves. We got to sit back and really ask oursel, is it for a good reason? You've got to decide that. That's not for anyone else to decide. Are you worrying yourself for no reason or is there a genuine reason to do so? Is your house on the line? Is your health on the line? Maybe, maybe not. A lot of the time we get caught up in majoring in minor things. That's a problem. It's a big problem. Stop majoring in minor things. There's a difference between doing more and getting more done. So judge yourself and decide for yourself. If you're adding pain to yourself, then go from there. Because sometimes we have to feel pain to grow. Like I said before, growth doesn't come from comfort zones. You have to be uncomfortable. And sometimes those uncomfortable periods, those rocky roads, those rough patches we're dealing with, becomes a thing that adds the depth you need to achieve that big thing. For me, I've had to fail a lot. I wasn't naturally gifted at much of anything. I had to work very hard at everything I did, whether it be wrestling, lacrosse, speaking to people, consulting, writing. Oh my gosh, I had to write so many terrible paragraphs and chapters before I realized, huh, I've got to improve, right? Sometimes that pain is necessary to grow. But another note, another point here I'd like to make. Purpose doesn't have to be loud sometimes. It's just consistent, honest, and rooted in who you really are. A lot of people scream from the rooftops what their purpose is, what their path is, what they're doing, what their plans are. Yours doesn't have to be that way. Honestly, a lot of the time when I see people talking about their goals, their passion, it creates a sense of, now other people are measuring them, right? If I were to jump onto social media and I were to tell everybody, in the next year, I'm going to be xyz, I'm going to be so big, I'm going to sell millions of tickets, yada, yada, yada, whatever it may be. Now everyone's going to be measuring that subconsciously. I'm going to be measuring it subconsciously, and I'm going to. It's going to cause self doubt if I see myself getting off track with what I said out loud, right? Makes you a hypocrite, makes you a liar sometimes. It can be powerful, though. Saying those things out loud can hold you accountable to that standard. I call that the hypocrisy of becoming. It's sometimes you got to say things out loud before you really are doing them, before you really are those things. Because it's a sense of accountability for yourself and a way to live in the feeling of who you are before you are, right? But at the same time, some of the most successful people I've ever met, practiced, worked, pursued in Silence. They didn't need somebody else to measure up to. They didn't need to scream it from the rooftops. They were calm, collected, focused, and didn't care about other people's beliefs in them. They did it quietly. So whatever your path is, don't compare it to others because it can go either way. You don't need a stage or a spotlight to make an impact. You just need heart, intention and follow through. This is extremely important. Your intentions can be pure, your heart can be great. But if you don't follow through, none of it matters. And it, it, it really boils down to any one of those three. If your heart's not in it, if your intentions aren't good, you don't follow through. If you fall short in any one of those areas, it's, it's almost for none. You know, maybe it's an opportunity to learn, to struggle, to suffer. But reality is you've got to have all three. And if you have all three, you can transmit that energy to other people. People can feel it, they can understand it, they can trust it, they can connect with it. And that's how you get the buy in from others. And all of this is a different angle, a different way to understand how to really remove that self doubt. And I'm trying to wrap it back up to that point. If you surround yourself with the right people, you have the right heart, the right intentions, the right follow through, you, you are true to yourself with what it is you want to do and also true to yourself with the things that you're not very good at. You're going to slowly eliminate the self doubt. It will always be there. If you're putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, which you should, how boring life would be if it was never uncomfortable. You wouldn't know the light without the dark. You wouldn't appreciate it. You wouldn't appreciate the sunshine if it wasn't for the rain. You wouldn't appreciate the, the beautiful weather, the beautiful wind, the beautiful trees. If you'd never really seen dead trees, terrible weather, the cold, right there's, it's all perspective. So sometimes you've got to suffer through those things, through some embarrassment, through some problems to get there. But every person has a canvas. The question is, are you painting your own story or somebody else's? It's become much easier to fall in line with somebody else's image of us, someone else's plan for us, because it's harder to take the time to discover what really drives us. Purpose, fulfillment. So something I always address with My mentees is purpose. You've got to find it. If you don't have a plan for your life, you will become a part of somebody else's plan for their life. It happens more often than not. I would honestly say most of our population in the US is full of people that don't really understand the purpose. They don't have a clear path, they don't have a clear plan and they just fit in to the puzzle of somebody else's goals. When I realized this at a younger age, it was up to me to decide the destination, find the path and pursue it. It was liberating. It created a sense of freedom. But when you have that freedom, self doubt becomes relevant. When you're part of somebody else's plan, everything's lined up for you. You have a clear vision, you know what you're going to make next year, you know what you're going to do. Same thing over and over like it's, it's a job versus career entrepreneurship, right? It's hard to have that self doubt because everything's there. You don't have a whole lot of unknown, right? Self doubt comes from places of fear and unknown is one of the big fears. So applying a lot of what we've talked about today, especially with Susan, can eliminate that self doubt and prevent you from getting caught in that trap of worry, guilt, complaining and just cycling out of control. So keep in mind, it's up to you to decide your destination, what it is you want out of life. And if you're more comfortable just going to work day to day knowing what you're going to make, knowing what you're going to do, knowing what your life's going to look like and you don't have to make any major decisions and risk, fine, that's okay. A lot of people are happy with that. But if you're somebody who wants more out of life, you want to accomplish more, you want to be more, do more, be prepared to fight self doubt. But you don't have to lose. Choose to fight the battle to be uncomfortable and to grow. Because reality is success isn't given. It's earned. Thank you for tuning in today. I really hope this conversation with our guest and my thoughts can shed some light in your life and maybe help you get through some things. We will see you next time on the Bottom Line. This has been a NOW Media Networks feature presentation. All rights reserved.